You are not shaped by your experiences. You are shaped by the stories you tell yourself. Your past experiences are merely color, but the stories you tell yourself in your own mind – they are the brushstrokes. You can paint something horrendous, or something wonderful – with the very same colors. This does not at all mean you should lie to yourself, and pretend your past was all sunshine. A beautiful piece of art is not about happiness. It is about clarity and purity. Breathtaking art is about making sense, even if you can’t put it into words. [Notice, true purity has nothing to do with society’s ideas of morality. On the contrary, purity means ‘untainted by anything’, including by convention. It means pure reality. Pure you.]
Most people walk about this Earth, using the color of pain to paint sad faces on themselves [“Poor me!”]. However, a rare breed of awesome people use the colors of joy as well as of pain to paint wisdom and calm smiles on their faces. Somehow, they find a way make sense of it – often a very personal way. It doesn’t matter whether what you feel is joy, pain or something entirely different. They are emotions. Emotions are colors. Paint with them.
You become a master of reality by making a mythological painting where it all makes sense. ~ Fomtriok
So, what it means is you should tell yourself stories where everything has a role, where every single event has a purpose. Not that it always had a purpose when it happened to you: I am not talking about magical thinking, but you should rather give it a purpose afterhand. Not a lie, not self deception, but rather; giving it a purpose is figuring out ”How can I use this?”.
You formulate a storyline where all the pieces make sense, where the pain and trouble shaped you – just as much as the light and joy did. It elevated you into further wisdom, brilliance and strength. Light made you shine. But obstacles made you fierce, and brought you along in your path towards your destiny. Everything you experienced became an asset, something you would never wish away, something invaluable.
When you do that – that is how you rise, even against the worst of odds.
Whatever happens in life, many people always find a way to regard what unfolds as dangerous and bad, as an excuse for feeling pain and for complaining and criticizing.
The wise however, whatever happens to them, in whatever predicament they come to be, they always find a way to use it. They find a way to benefit from it.
What kind of person are you?